Richard’s Ramblings, 2-16-2020

Years ago, during my teen years, our family television had an extra channel besides the Corpus Christi affiliates KIII, KZTV, and KRIS, the occasional UHF station and one that was in all Spanish. Our extra channel was a poor man’s version of HBO called SelecTV. If you’ve never heard of it, that’s probably because SelecTV went out of business almost 30 years ago in 1991. It specialized in showing “B” movies.

One of them was Say Yes, a movie that seemed enticing because it had Jonathan Winters in it. It also had in it the underrated Art Hindle, whom I’d previously seen in the 1984 movie Raw Courage.

But, after watching Say Yes, I was inclined to tell people, “Say no!”

Say Yes was filmed in 1982 but not released until 1986. That’s often a sign that the director and producers know they have a major stinker on their hands…

…I read recently of a golf club where the cost to join is $100,000.

I can’t fathom that, but for some, that’s actually chump change. In the remake of Payback, the female Bronson character, when mistakenly told that Porter wants his $140,000 back (it’s actually $70,000), smugly replies, “Honey, I wouldn’t even get out of bed for $140,000!”…

…Watched a little college basketball yesterday. Right now, I’d have to say the teams I like are the ones that don’t have players planning on going pro after a semester or two of college basketball…

…What was I doing 40 years ago, on February 16, 1980? Attending second grade at Colby Elementary School in Colby, Kansas, and having a hard time understanding it was now the 1980s. The 1970s were gone. 

Of course, one of the most exciting things about entering a new decade is seeing what the new trends will be. With any luck, stone-washed jeans, pegged pants, and Ocean Pacific T-shirts will return.

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Remembering ‘Strawberries Need Rain’

On the radio at AM 910 KNAF in Fredericksburg, Texas, Jeryl Hoover does spots for Gillespie County Historical Society. This past week, he talked about a movie filmed 50 years ago in the Texas Hill Country. Locals were excited that a major motion picture was shot here in Gillespie County. Apparently, it bore a resemblance to Sweden’s countryside.

The night of the premiere came, and locals watched the film Strawberries Need Rain. Some angrily walked out as they realized it was little more than a soft-core porn film.

Here’s the plot: A young girl encounters the Grim Reaper. She talks him into sparing her life. I’m a virgin, she pleads. Can you give me 24 hours to lose my virginity before you take me?

The reaper relents, and off she goes on a series of unsuccessful sexual adventures. She finally succeeds in her final one, only for the reaper to tell her that her life has been spared because she’s pregnant.

He then tells her the gender of her unborn child, but I’ll not spoil this unforgettable plot twist.

When I first moved to Fredericksburg, I was told that a co-worker had a brief role in a “porn” film. It turned out to be a running joke. The co-worker, in her mid 50s and a lifelong bachelorette, looked nothing like I imagined. Then I realized: she was only 10 when the movie was shot, so she wasn’t that kind of actress.

Eventually, someone purchased a copy of SNR from Ebay. My sense of curiosity never takes a vacation. It manifested itself as a morbid curiosity, and I borrowed the DVD.

To borrow a quote Michael Medved once used to describe The Last Temptation of Christ and Dogma, the movie’s controversy is far more fascinating than the actual movie itself. The plot line was silly, and the acting was terrible. If you think I’m being harsh, I’m actually being generous.

Someday, perhaps SNR will live a new life should Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever be rebooted. That would be most appropriate: terrible cinema about delicious fruit requiring falling water does much better when seen through the lens of comedy.

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