Home > Uncategorized > Slaps on the wrist, The Herald Asks, an interesting letter

Slaps on the wrist, The Herald Asks, an interesting letter

From A to Zowie

Slaps on the wrist, The Herald Asks, an interesting letter

By Richard Zowie

(Published in the June 16, 2010 issue of Clio, Michigan-based Mt. Morris/Clio Birch Run/Bridgeport Herald)

…I have no criminal record, but if I should ever break the law, maybe I should do so in Detroit. Preferably, of course, after having held public office. Just a few weeks ago it seemed that disgraced former mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was heading to prison for 1.5 to five years for violating terms of his parole and hiding half a million dollars in assets when he whined he couldn’t afford to pay restitution owed to the city. Now, it seems Kilpatrick may be allowed to attend a 90-day boot camp and may be released from further prison time if he completes it.

I am reminded of a colleague who told me once that media have only uncovered about ten percent of all Kilpatrick’s (alleged) crooked ways.

First, probation and then a cushy job in Texas, and now possible boot camp instead of going to prison?

I’m no penologist, but it seems to me the powers-that-be are giving Kilpatrick zero incentive to become a born-again good citizen. Each time his hand is found in the proverbial cookie jar they seem all too ready to give him a proverbial slap on the wrist. If they keep this up, Kilpatrick may grow up to become a crooked politician.

Kilpatrick’s freedom almost certainly has nine lives. At this stage, I think the only thing he could do to be sent to prison for hard time is to be caught voting republican…

NOTE: Later this week after this column had been submitted for publication, a judge denied Kilpatrick’s request for boot camp.

…It really amazes me how vain even the most beautiful women can be. Gathering comments for the June 23 edition of The Herald Asks took longer than normal for a certain newspaper edition because about three women refused to let me take their picture for the paper. It goes like this: I tell people what the question will be and if they agree I get their name, city, take their picture and turn on my digital recorder.

I know there are such excuses as Bad Hair Day, Bad Makeup Day, There Are Outstanding Arrest Warrants For Me and I’m In The Witness Protection Program, but sheesh. Ladies (and gentlemen), the camera never breaks when it takes a picture of me and my big nose, so you should do just fine…

…Some letters I receive from readers can be pretty fascinating. Lately, nobody’s sent me any hate mail. This is evidenced, of course, by my painstaking efforts to be everybody’s best friend and to offend nobody. One former colleague loved to write in an acerbic style and then really tear into a person who complained, a style that seemed counterproductive and foolish beyond explanation.

A man recently wrote to me telling me that we needed to recognize more athletes whenever we cover high school sports. I politely wrote him back and explained that there’s only so much we can do in the confines we have to work with—especially when you consider we cover five high schools. I could always clone myself to write more, but as my wife would emphatically point out, one Richard Paul Zowie in this world is more than enough.

After I sent the response, a week later I realized that I inadvertently had granted the man’s wish. As it turns out, I was busy putting together a feature story about his left-handed grandson, who’s also a catcher…

Richard Zowie’s a reporter and columnist for the Herald. Visit his blog at http://www.fromatozowie.wordpress.com or e-mail him at richardzowie@gmail.com.

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