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Health care, March Madness, Baseball, Mayors and April Fool’s Day

From A to Zowie

Health care, March Madness, Baseball, Mayors and April Fool’s Day

By Richard Zowie

…It was fascinating to hear the different opinions in this week’s “The Herald Speaks” on Congress’s controversial health care bill. That being said, I am extremely leery. There’s nothing wrong with government regulations designed to create a fair playing field, but when the government segues from regulating to controlling a sixth of our economy, I become extremely nervous. One Investor’s Business Daily cartoon gave this compelling argument: name a government program that is not losing money. Most likely, it matters little: I suspect it’ll never see the light of day and will be ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court…

…No, I didn’t do an NCAA Basketball March Madness bracket this year. The last one I did was back in 1994 when I was bored and had nothing else better to do. All I can say this: while I much prefer football to basketball, I’ll watch March Madness before I watch the Bowl Championship Series. Watching a college football championship where at least one of the team has benefitted from an overly easy schedule (the Texas Longhorns come to mind) does not excite me…

…I’m looking forward to covering high school baseball and softball for the Herald since baseball’s probably my favorite spectator sport. It’ll be a little sad since I don’t expect my favorite Major League team, the Houston Astros, will be very good this year. I am reminded of a funny quote years ago when former Astros manager Larry Dierker was then a pitcher for the ’Stros in the 1960s. Asked about the season, Dierker replied: “You know one team I just can’t see this year? The Atlanta Braves. They just don’t have the depth. You know another team I just can’t see? Ours.”…

…Speaking of sports, I see Tiger Woods is planning to golf at the Masters. I’ve yet to get around to playing golf and I don’t watch it, but I wish Tiger the best as he tries to reassemble Humpty Dumpty—otherwise known as his marriage. It still seems odd to me that a man married to a former Swedish model could somehow find a way to cheat. I do wonder this: what on earth was he thinking sending XXX-rated text messages to, um, someone who could still very well become known as “The Other Woman”? Didn’t he learn anything from Kwame Kilpatrick?…

…For those who may have already forgotten, Kilpatrick is the disgraced former mayor of Detroit. He was last seen living lavishly in Texas and insisting he couldn’t make his monthly restitution payments while managing to scrape money together for a publicist. Texas, unlike Michigan, has no state income tax…

…Tomorrow is April 1, and I’m trying to think of a good April Fool’s Day joke. I work part-time at a gas station, so maybe I should change the gas prices to something like $9.79 a gallon. Or maybe I should keep that job and focus on something safer. I remember April Fool’s Day 1999: I called my parents and told them my wife Jennifer was pregnant. They believed me at first.

The joke ultimately backfired: six months later in September 1999, Jennifer became pregnant with our youngest son, Robert. Naturally, my parents were a little reluctant to believe it…

(Published in the March 31, 2010 issue of the Mt. Morris/Clio Birch Run/Bridgeport (Mich.) Herald)

Richard Zowie’s a reporter and columnist for the Herald. Visit his blog at http://www.fromatozowie.wordpress.com or e-mail him at richardzowie@gmail.com.

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