Health care, March Madness, Baseball, Mayors and April Fool’s Day

From A to Zowie

Health care, March Madness, Baseball, Mayors and April Fool’s Day

By Richard Zowie

…It was fascinating to hear the different opinions in this week’s “The Herald Speaks” on Congress’s controversial health care bill. That being said, I am extremely leery. There’s nothing wrong with government regulations designed to create a fair playing field, but when the government segues from regulating to controlling a sixth of our economy, I become extremely nervous. One Investor’s Business Daily cartoon gave this compelling argument: name a government program that is not losing money. Most likely, it matters little: I suspect it’ll never see the light of day and will be ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court…

…No, I didn’t do an NCAA Basketball March Madness bracket this year. The last one I did was back in 1994 when I was bored and had nothing else better to do. All I can say this: while I much prefer football to basketball, I’ll watch March Madness before I watch the Bowl Championship Series. Watching a college football championship where at least one of the team has benefitted from an overly easy schedule (the Texas Longhorns come to mind) does not excite me…

…I’m looking forward to covering high school baseball and softball for the Herald since baseball’s probably my favorite spectator sport. It’ll be a little sad since I don’t expect my favorite Major League team, the Houston Astros, will be very good this year. I am reminded of a funny quote years ago when former Astros manager Larry Dierker was then a pitcher for the ’Stros in the 1960s. Asked about the season, Dierker replied: “You know one team I just can’t see this year? The Atlanta Braves. They just don’t have the depth. You know another team I just can’t see? Ours.”…

…Speaking of sports, I see Tiger Woods is planning to golf at the Masters. I’ve yet to get around to playing golf and I don’t watch it, but I wish Tiger the best as he tries to reassemble Humpty Dumpty—otherwise known as his marriage. It still seems odd to me that a man married to a former Swedish model could somehow find a way to cheat. I do wonder this: what on earth was he thinking sending XXX-rated text messages to, um, someone who could still very well become known as “The Other Woman”? Didn’t he learn anything from Kwame Kilpatrick?…

…For those who may have already forgotten, Kilpatrick is the disgraced former mayor of Detroit. He was last seen living lavishly in Texas and insisting he couldn’t make his monthly restitution payments while managing to scrape money together for a publicist. Texas, unlike Michigan, has no state income tax…

…Tomorrow is April 1, and I’m trying to think of a good April Fool’s Day joke. I work part-time at a gas station, so maybe I should change the gas prices to something like $9.79 a gallon. Or maybe I should keep that job and focus on something safer. I remember April Fool’s Day 1999: I called my parents and told them my wife Jennifer was pregnant. They believed me at first.

The joke ultimately backfired: six months later in September 1999, Jennifer became pregnant with our youngest son, Robert. Naturally, my parents were a little reluctant to believe it…

(Published in the March 31, 2010 issue of the Mt. Morris/Clio Birch Run/Bridgeport (Mich.) Herald)

Richard Zowie’s a reporter and columnist for the Herald. Visit his blog at http://www.fromatozowie.wordpress.com or e-mail him at richardzowie@gmail.com.

My ‘review’ of Gerard Butler movie ‘Law Abiding Citizen’

You know the drill: I don’t “review” movies in the traditional sense of the word since I believe that film critics like Roger Ebert are knuckle-headed snobs.

Law Abiding Citizen focues on an engineer played by Gerard Butler whose home is broken into by two intruders. There to rob the place, one of the sickos decides to rape Butler’s wife and then rape/murder his daughter (the camera doesn’t show what he does to her).

Butler wants justice, but an assistant district attorney played by Jamie Foxx tells him the rapist/murderer has plea bargained to testify against his accomplice in exchange for a light sentence. He’ll do four years or so and be free while the other guy will get the death penalty.

“But I want to testify and put BOTH guys away!” Butler’s character says.

Foxx’s character then tells him that because he blacked out during the assault he’d be an unreliable witness with the two criminals getting acquitted–especially since the DNA evidence gathered has been rendered inadmissible.

So, that’s what happens. Ten years later the accomplice in prison dies an agonizing death by lethal injection, something that’s supposed to be relatively painless. Police later find the main bad guy’s remains in an abandoned warehouse. He’d been tortured to death and dismembered.

Police believe Butler’s character is at fault, but through skillful legal maneuvering he’s able to work out deals for himself. He then starts going after all the judges and lawyers responsible for his wife and daughter’s murders not being brought to justice.

What I liked about this movie: Gerard Butler’s not potentially Mr. Jennifer Aniston, he’s his own man. And a very credible actor. I also liked the story and how it prompts discussion: can we really feel sorry for the deaths of two worthless criminals? How about the deaths of legal folks who failed miserably to bring murderers to justice?

What I didn’t like about this movie: For one, Jamie Foxx. This movie makes me think anybody could’ve won an Oscar for playing Ray Charles. Foxx’s character was smug and condescending and never seems grasp the hurt and anguish Butler’s character feels about the tragic loss of his own family. Zero empathy. Maybe that’s the way the character was written, or maybe Foxx isn’t really that good of an actor.

They also never quite explained how he could rush to make a deal and they never explained how the DNA evidence was thrown out. As for the assertion that Butler’s blacked out character wouldn’t make a credible witness, how would a violent criminal who’s ratting on his partner?

I’m sorry to say, but I kept hoping in vain that Foxx’s character would get killed off in the revenge rage that Butler’s character went on. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be, and we’re stuck with an incredibly cheesy ending where Foxx finally makes the time to attend his daughter’s recital.

I like Gerard Butler and like the vigilante vengeance, but overall, I didn’t like this movie. If only they could re-make it without Foxx.

Richard Zowie loves watching movies. Post comments here or e-mail him at richardzowie@gmail.com.