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Adventures in Text Messaging

From A to Zowie

Adventures in Text Messaging

By Richard Zowie

Last Wednesday, my wife Jennifer and I traveled to a cell phone store in Clio, Michigan (about 20 miles north of Flint) to pick up new cell phones. We have no landlines, and since we’re on the go so often and have a limited budget, it’s made far more sense this past year to use cell phones only. We began with one of those 750 daytime minutes, unlimited nights and weekends plans.

And now, our new plan gives us more minutes and text messaging.

Unlimited texting, to be exact.

The nice thing about unlimited texting, of course, is that there’s no worry about going into cardiac arrest over the cell phone bill as we decide to, “idk, text my bff & then o-sis sab & lol @ pic gray scoob”.

Translation: As we decide to, “I don’t know, text my best friend forever and then my oldest sister, Sabrina, and laugh out loud at the picture of her gray Great Dane, Samson.”

My new cell phone, the i680 (which I affectionally call ‘Chuck Norris’ due to its durability)

In the first 24 hours or so, I texted my wife, both of my sisters, my oldest son, a blogging colleague, my work colleague and several nieces and nephews.

I’m told that my brother-in-law, Joe, has texting capabilities but detests it. Sounds like Joe would sooner swear off hot sauce (which he loves) rather than send a text message.

Of course, I got so into texting I actually texted Sabrina and jokingly asked her if Samson has a cell phone and if he can text.

I see benefits to texting, such as getting grocery lists and when in a loud place where using the phone’s not feasible. Soon, though, I imagine myself texting some complete stranger in Israel when the following happens:

Jennifer along with Sabrina and my other sister Misti, my sons, parents, in-laws, friends and even a few people I don’t even know (including that “Can you hear me now?” guy from the cell phone commercials) enter the house.

Jennifer: Richard, we need to talk.

Richard: (while waiting eagerly for the next text) Yo.

Jennifer: How are you doing?

Richard: AAS!

Jennifer: Your texting is getting out of control!

Richard: What’s wrong with my txting?

Jennifer: That’s all you ever do! Do you even know how to communicate anymore?

Richard: IDK!

Jennifer: Id—? See, that’s EXACTLY what I mean! Why can’t you just say “I don’t know” instead of IDK?

Richard: um, idk!

Jennifer: (rolls her eyes): And another thing: there is NO reason to text me when we’re in the same room of the house.

Richard: ROTFL!

Sabrina and Misti: Richard, it’s not funny. We’re serious. We think you need to head to the Betty Ford Clinic for a while.

Richard: Betty Ford? I no drink/drug!

Jennifer: Sweetie, the clinic just completed construction on a Texting Addiction Wing. We really think you should go. You’re booked on the next flight to California.

Richard: 4COL, Can quit a-time I want!

Jennifer: No, you can’t!

Richard: Do I have to leave ASAP?

Jennifer: Yes.

Richard: TTFN!

I hope it won’t come to this. Perhaps when the newness wears off I’ll practice moderation a lot better.

Richard Zowie is a Genesee County Herald reporter and columnist and is 🙂 the Michigan winter’s almost over. Post comments here or e-mail him at richardzowie@gmail.com.

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