My favorite new country music song: ‘Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Kanye!’

I watched the Country Music Awards last night, mostly out of curiosity since I’m actually not a huge country music fan. I must admit Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood’s Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Kanye:

There was only three mentions of Kanye West last night: that song at the beginning, a spoof of West later in the show when Little Jimmy Dickens interrupted Brad Paisley’s speech and told him Taylor Swift should’ve won for Best Video

and then at the end when Swift thanked the crowd for not getting up and interruping her speech.

In short, while there are only a few songs in country I like, I was really amazed at the class of country music singers. Short, humble speeches and jokes of good humor. Country tends to be a more conservative crowd, but there wasn’t one single political rant.

I was really amazed at the class showed by Brooks and Dunn when they politely declined Sugarland’s request to go up on stage with them when Sugarland won an award that the disbanding B & D won’t be eligible for again: Best Duet.

A remake of ‘The Stepfather’? Why?

Some cinematic purists were upset when a remake was made of the 1973 political thriller The Day of the Jackal. The original, starring Edward Fox as The Jackal, stood the test of time, they said. So, the “remake” was renamed The Jackal. I liked both, but the Sixties version certainly was a great, if not superior, film.

And now, the 1987 horror/thriller The Stepfather has a remake.

Why?

I saw the original, and it was absolutely creepy. Terry O’Quinn was marvelous as the serial killer who kills off his family and moves onto another one in search of a perfect family. The scene where his stepdaughter’s teacher visits him under the guise of looking for a house to buy is, well, chilling.

It makes you think they must really be hard up for movie ideas in Tinsel Town if they’re making remakes of great older movies that don’t need a remake.

Here’s the trailer for the original film…

Nobel Peace Prize, Limbaugh and Rams…

I have read that the Nobel Peace Prize nomination deadline was back in February–just a few weeks after President Barack Obama took office.

Wow.

I’m still trying to understand how a man who’d just gotten into office and barely had enough time to appoint a Secretary of the Department of Teleprompter Maintenance department could win such a prestigious award.

Getting passed over so that Obama could win were a Chinese dissident and an Afghanistani woman who has risked her life to ensure girls receive an education in her country despite threats by the Taliban.

This shouldn’t be surprising: back in 2007, Irena Sendler–a Polish woman who helped save 2,500 Jews from extermination during the Holocuast–was passed over in favor of Al Gore for his Gospel Against Global Warming.

You know, I’m working on fiction and hope to get it published someday. Maybe I’ll receive a Nobel Prize for Literature for my potential…

…So, it looks like Rush Limbaugh won’t be a part owner of the St. Louis Rams. Too much controversy. It’s pretty bizarre. We can allow an owner (Art Modell) to rip out the hearts of Cleveland football fans, we can allow an owner (Al Davis) who’s turning the Oakland Raiders from a once-feared franchise to one that’s a warped caricature of itself, we can readmit players who do drugs (Michael Irvin), mistreat dogs (Michael Vick), show disrespect to police officers (Randy Moss), but God save us from conservative talk show hosts who love football and who want to be successful in a business venture.

Yes, Rush was wrong for letting his addiction to OxyContin get out of hand. No arguments from me there. But didn’t the NFL allow Brett Favre return after rehab for his painkiller addiction?

Truck drivers law–is this for real?

My brother-in-law, a truck driver, was talking today about a new law that, if passed, would require truck drivers to have 20/20 vision and to not be overweight.

I like to think this is either a very bad joke or an urban legend. Some feel that if passed, it would eliminate about 90 percent of truckers on the road.

Yes, being the right weight is nice, but in that profession, often you eat on the go. You don’t have time for a hot, well-balanced meal, especially when you have a load to deliver and a deadline approaching like the high-beam glare of an oncoming vehicle. And as for the eyesight (my bro-in-law’s around 20/10), what’s the problem if a person wears corrective lenses?

I’ve been told by a few people that you can get a pilot’s license even if you don’t have perfect vision. My late Uncle Gene, who wore very thick glasses, was a licensed pilot.

“Laws” like this seem to come from career politicians who spend far too much time in Washington and not enough time in the real world.

Richard Zowie has several blogs, including a writer’s blog, Christian blog and a satirical blog. He blogs about the Dallas Cowboys exclusively at http://americasteam.info. To comment on this blog posting, post a response below or, for a private response, go to fromatozowie@gmail.com.

From A to Zowie: It’s Harvest Time once again!

From A to Zowie 

It’s Harvest Time once again! 

By Richard Zowie 

We’re approaching October 31, a time when many Americans will get sick on Halloween candy, will slice open a trick-or-treat apple to see if it has any sharp objects, have Harvest parties or rush to a video store or online to Netflix to check out a spooky film. And if you’re one of those Americans who likes to get things done well ahead of schedule, you’ll probably have your Christmas shopping by then.

I fall into the third and fourth categories. As a teenager, I loved horror films, particularly the slasher ones. Those days are thankfully past me. The last gory film I saw was a few years ago–more for nostalgia purposes. As I watched, I realized something: far too much budget in those movies is invested into gore, blood and guts and not enough into an actual story line. This is why I like suspense and thrillers a lot better. More surprises and a little less threat of a cheesy sequel. These days, if I want to see lots and lots of the red stuff splattered, it’s Heinz-57 on tater tots. Yum yum!

Maybe you’re like me and like to be scared without seeing all kinds of unnecessary gore. If so, check out these movies:

When a Stranger Calls (either the original or remake; both are good)

Alien (one of my all-time favorite taglines: “In space, nobody can hear you scream.”)

The Sixth Sense (M. Night Shyamalan builds suspense perfectly)

Psycho (Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 original, NOT the terrible remake)

So, being a man of an overactive imagination, I wondered what else could make for modern-day scary films. Here’s what I came up with, borrowing titles of real movies:

Clear and Present Danger (from the Tom Clancy movie)–Due to a strange glitch in the electronic ballots that replaced butterfly ballots, socialite/reality television star Paris Hilton is elected president of the United States. True to her career, she becomes the star of the reality show O-24, a show in which viewers can have access to her activities in the Oval Office 24 hours a day. Controversy erupts when Hilton is caught perusing Vogue magazine and admiring herself in a mirror when Secretary of State Alec Baldwin is trying to brief her on how the war’s going in Afghanistan. Congressman–both Democrat and Republican work to draft emergency legislation calling for a new constitutional amendment allowing for the recall of presidents.

Russian president Dmitry Medvedev makes headlines when he meets Hilton and asks, “Chto znachit, kogda President Hilton govorit, ‘Ehto zharko!’?” (“What does it mean when President Hilton says, ‘That’s hot!’?”)

Dead Silence (from the movie about the ventriloquist whose dolls come to life)–Kanye West, fresh off his interruption of Taylor Swift’s award acceptance speech, is ordered by his record label to not utter a single word for an entire year. Or they’ll make him go up to former Alaska governor Sarah Palin and ask her for an autograph of her book. The question is: can he do it?

The Beast Within (from the 1982 movie that, well, it’s a revenge story that had [at that time] really cool special effects)–Something terrible is going on in Hollywood. Amidst all the ultra liberals there’s one prominent liberal who is a closet conservative. Who is this evil Republican? Can they be found? Can they be stopped before they give Hollywood a bad name?

Final Destination (from a lame movie about a bunch of unlikeable punks who try to cheat death)–Documentary maker Michael Moore flies again to Cuba in hopes of making another documentary about how evil America is, how much of a paradise the People’s Republic of Cuba is, blah blah blah. Only one small problem. When he’s ready to return to America, he learns his passport has expired. The officials refuse to renew it for him, and Moore is forced to live life in a real socialist country to see if his fake-u-mentaries are really true. Finally, he tries to make it back to America on a makeshift raft.

Sicko (one of Michael Moore’s fake-u-mentaries)–A documentary that looks at why Hollywood seems to have so much love for convicted child molesters like, um, Roman Polanski while acting in extreme indignation at Mel Gibson for saying deplorable things while drunk. Guest appearances will include wisdom from Woody Allen, who’s currently married to his ex-girlfriend’s daughter. 

Richard Zowie grew up in Beeville and now works in Michigan as a writer. From A to Zowie’s blog can be found at www.fromatozowie.wordpress.com. 

Farm Town on Facebook

For all those who’ve sent me invitations for Farm Town and Mafia Wars on Facebook and might be wondering why I’ve been mute in my reply, it’s for this simple reason:

No time.

Sorry.

An amusing company memo about ‘change’

One of my sisters sent this to me. I don’t know where it originated, but it sure is funny:

LETTER FROM AN EXCELLENT BOSS

Dear Employees:
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘Obama’ bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change…… I gave it to them.

 I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

 THE BOSS

Whoopi Goldberg: When celebrities say stupid things

Ok, I get it: Whoopi Goldberg is paid to say crazy things on The View.

Goldberg on The View spoke about film director Roman Polanski’s arrest and possible extradition to the U.S. to finally face justice after leaving the country to avoid jail time for a 1978 rape of a 13-year-old girl (back when he was 44 years old).

The star of The Color Purple said: “I know it wasn’t rape-rape. I think it was something else, but I don’t believe it was rape-rape.”

She added: “We’re a different kind of society. We see things differently. The world sees 13-year-olds and 14-year-olds in the rest of Europe… not everybody agrees with the way we see things…”

Polanski who was born in France. His father was a Polish Jew while his mother was a Russian with a Jewish father and Catholic mother.

So, it’s ok for a European to come to America, violate our laws and get away with it? Would it be ok for an American to commit a brutal crime in Europe and flee back here since we don’t see things the way Europeans do?

Unbelievable. Nice job of trivializing rape, Whoopi.

One has to wonder what Goldberg’s reaction would’ve been if it had been her 13-year-old daughter or granddaughter who was sexually assaulted.

Furthermore, what’s wrong with all these celebrities defending Polanski? Maybe Martin Scorsese, David Lynch and Debra Winger should read the transcripts of what took place.

It amuses me that Woody Allen is also defending Polanski, especially when you consider Allen’s married to his ex-girlfriend Mia Farrow’s adopted daughter.

Kudos to French director Luc Besson for refusing to sign a petition calling for Polanski’s release. Besson knows and likes Polanski but says nobody should be above the law.

Roman Polanski: artist, director, pedophile

I hear that the now-adult woman who was Roman Polanski’s victim back in the day wants an end to this controversy regarding the filmmaker’s arrest in Switzerland and his possible extradition to the United States to finally face the punishment for the felony conviction he received. Polanski, you’ll remember, was accused in 1977 of reportedly plying his then-13-year-old female victim with champagne and then having both vaginal and anal intercourse with her. (Polanski later pled guilty to having unlawful sex with a minor, which, unlike the rape the victim described in her original testimony, generally covers consenting sex between an adult and a minor).

I give these details because many look at Polanski as the victim rather than as a pedophile.

The woman, I understand, long ago sued Polanski and received a financial settlement. She, and many in Hollywood feel the director should be allowed to move on with his life. Prior to his arrest, Polanski (who has French and Polish citizenship) had been staying in those countries after having fled America three decades ago to avoid extradition. Under French law, French citizens can not be extradited to America.

Polanski is really no different than the other men and women in this country who are convicted of or who plead guilty to sex crimes against children. Except that he had the resources to flee this country and go to another country to avoid prison time. And he had the money to pay off his victim. I’m still trying to understand why he should be given special privileges that other pedophiles aren’t. (If you ever want to hear stories that’ll make you very squeamish, ask a prison guard or a penologist what happens to a child molestor in prison).

Chances are, Polanski won’t do hard time at a place like Folsom State Prison. But I do feel he should have to answer for his crime. Hiding out in Europe and not taking one’s medicine doesn’t sound like the actions of a remorse man.

Yeah, yeah, the judge screwed him over. Please get in line, Mr. Polanski: every convicted felon has an excuse.

At the end of it all, it amazes me how Hollywood so staunchly defends a pedophile who cowardly leaves the country but yet villifies Mel Gibson for his drunken tirade.

Richard Zowie runs several blogs besides this one. Send comments to fromatozowie@gmail.com.

Is it too early to say ‘Wait ’til 2011,’ Houston Astros fans?

Now more than ever, I miss the blue and orange–Houston’s original team colors…

Starting pitching is in disarray, the minor league system’s thinner than a model in a size zero dress and Drayton McLane has no plans to sell the team.

Call me a Woody Allen pessimist, but I don’t see a bright 2010 in store for the Houston Astros.